Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Not a Good Idea

So it seems that in Marvel's Civil War Spider-Man has revealed himself to be pathetic loser Peter Parker! I was completely shocked. But I have to wonder if this is really a good idea for Spider-Man. Or any of those other fools at Marvel.

You see, revealing your identity to the world rarely ends well. Unless you're a swingin' villain like myself. Then it just leads to mobs of howling female fans.

But I digress. The point is this: you're gonna get your ass killed, Parker. Or even worse, the asses of your loved ones. Back when I was still in "the game," If I'd known that Green Lantern was really my old friend Hal Jordan I would have swifty killed his brothers, his girlfriend, and his mechanic confidante.

Of course, things may be different over in the Marvel Universe. After all, some of their "villains" were already well aware of Spider-Man's identity. And like the impotent fools they are, they fail to make use of the knowledge.

But it doesn't work that way in my world. After all, have you ever heard of Captain Extraordinary? Of course not. That's because Doctor Domino figured out his secret identity.


At 1:59 PM, Blogger googum said...

Of course it isn't going to go down like this, but Spidey should consider laying a trap: the first villain to show up at his house, doesn't matter if it's the Green Goblin or the Grizzly, gets a savage, tag-team beatdown. Spidey lays down the pain, with special guest-stars the Sentry, Iron Man, Wolverine, the Prowler, and anyone else who happens to be free that afternoon. Just a brutal, crippling, humiliating thrashing; as an example to anyone else who wants to bring it.

My theory is, that would show other bad guys that going after MJ or Aunt May would be suicide; and Spidey would become the poster boy for not revealing your secret ID.

Of course, this is all academic, as everyone's guessing Civil War is Quesada's excuse to kill off MJ. I'm hoping everyone is wrong, because it seems obvious and stupid, but...

At 2:41 PM, Blogger Marc Burkhardt said...

Captain Extraordinary??


At 3:00 PM, Blogger Scipio said...

Corpse Extraordinary? Oh, I didn't realize he had a previous name....


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