Thursday, May 31, 2007

Stop Calling Him That!

Not so long ago I made a bold declaration. I said that I didn't think Brad Meltzer understood the Justice League. My main argument was that he didn't want to include Martian Manhunter. For the likes of me, that's nearly criminal. But, I decided to give it a go anyway.

I feel as though I have been vindicated. As the end of Brad Meltzer's run approaches, let us consider the following statistics regarding the first nine issues of Justice League of America:

Number of super-villains captured: 0

Number of times the characters use each other's code names: 0

Number of times Red Tornado cries: 5,682

Number of issues where nothing happens: 4

Number of times the characters do things wildly out of character: 27

Number of times where I actually gave a damn about Geo-Force: -42

Number of times I wanted to punch "Red Arrow" in the face: 68

Number of times I wanted to punch him in the face when his name was Arsenal: 9

Number of issues with super-villains, giant starfish, world conquering intelligences, doomsday plots, or threats worthy of the Justice League's time and effort: not nearly enough

Oh, yes. I most certainly am vidicated.

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At 10:15 AM, Blogger SallyP said...

You certainly have been. Those are powerful and compelling statistics. I don't read the JLA in order to watch them scrapbook or have tea parties. While those are perfectly acceptable pasttimes, I do prefer mindless violence SOME of the time.

At 2:05 PM, Blogger Tom Foss said...

How about "number of times someone knows something they shouldn't, or forgets something they should know"? Or "number of times a character is referred to by a stupid, stupid nickname with a totally straight face"?

You know, as much as I really do like a crossover between the JSA, the JLA, and the Legion, I really can't wait for this story to end and someone competent to take the reins.

At 3:53 PM, Blogger CalvinPitt said...

Cripes, Meltzer's JLA has gotten out of the gates at a pace that makes Bendis' New Avengers look like it had a rocket strapped to its back, and that shouldn't be possible.

At 4:41 PM, Blogger Centurion said...

The League without the martian is like pie without crust. Sure it may be edible, but it's not pie. That, my friend, is called 'jam' - and it is silly to eat jam without bread.

At 2:06 AM, Blogger cardboardjudas said...

You're all crazy, crazy i tell you. I think it's damn good reading.

What can i say it's obvious that Meltzer loves him some Robinson Starman, so i can't completely hate the guy, and while this comic is far too soap-opera-ish he does amazing things with small character moments.

At 11:52 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Brad Meltzer...

This is the same guy who killed Sue Dibny using Ray Palmer's retcon-erifficly deranged wife in a shrinking accident. And in that following said accident choosing to deliberately kill/threaten more people. (How/why would she have known who Robin was? Doubt Palmer's ex-wife ranked on Bat's identity list... just saying...)

I actually find myself missing Alan Moore's bizarre murder of Billy Bateson in his Twilight of the Superheroes proposal that got leaked on the net years ago. (Martian Manhunter in drag, actually can a shapeshifter really have gender... much less go in drag...?


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