Pleasant Surprises

I received a package from my parents today. I was anticipating it, especially since my father told me last time we talked that he was sending me "something special." Knowing him, I had a few guesses. In fact, as I carried the package back to my apartment I thought: "He probably sent me The Greatest Superman Stories Ever Told" Close, but it turned out to be The Greatest Batman Stories Ever Told. Sweet. My life is so much fuller now that I've heard Batman utter the immortal words:

"I think I'm going to be a sissy and faint, Doc. Sorry."

What other great things do we get from this collection?

1. Batman wrestling a tiger shark to save an old man in a wheelchair.

2. Batman "making a monkey" out of group of men who commit robberies in gorilla suits.

3. Batman outperforming a nun with his apparently extensive knowledge of hagiography.

4. Batman playing with a toy steam-engine -- while in a state of undress.

5. Batman screaming in terror during a nightmare: "The tentacles -- tightening around me! Help! Robin! Help!"

and in the spirit of the season:

6. Batman rescuing Santa Claus by knocking a man unconcious with a minature Christmas tree.

Batman rules.