Monday, October 23, 2006

It's Time to Come Clean

I have a confession to make. I'm the one behind Marvel's Civil War.

The chaos? The death? It's all me. I so much despise those fools that I have set them against one another for my amusement. Iron Man has been dead for months. I've just been moving him around like a marionette with my awesome magnetic powers.

But I'm beginning to think that it's getting out of hand. First of all, people are actually buying it. I'd hoped to destroy the Marvel Universe from the inside out by shattering the foundations upon which it is built. Apparently the philistines among the consumer class are duller than I expected.

How foolish are they to accept such obvious plot-holes and such ridiculously contrived explanations? Oh, they cloned a god, did they? From a hair left behind from the very first meeting of the Avengers? That makes perfect sense. Idiots.

At least the Marvel Universe is spiraling into chaos. And I sincerely doubt that it will come out of it as squeaky clean as my stomping grounds have. If I'm lucky, someone will conveniently off Magneto before all is said and done...


At 10:52 AM, Blogger SallyP said...

At last! It all makes sense now!

At 1:53 PM, Blogger CalvinPitt said...

See, I'm not so sure it does. Doctor Polaris couldn't organize my sock drawer. A disaster of this size is well beyond his capabilities.

At 5:07 PM, Blogger Doctor Polaris said...

Bah. If you think so little of me, isn't it possible that I could *inadvertantly* cause such a disaster? Think about *that* for a moment...

At 8:05 PM, Blogger CalvinPitt said...

Well, I suppose you could have been trying to kill Magneto and gotten Tony Stark by mistake.

All right. I'm willing to concede you're to blame for "The Collective" storyline in New Avengers.

That's a pretty horrific act by itself.

At 6:08 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Pff...everyone knows Civil War was caused by the mind-controlling bacteria. Stop lying Polaris...unless you're being controlled by the mind-controlling which case I am sorry.


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