Thursday, March 09, 2006

Ask Doctor Polaris #3

No my friends, your eyes do not deceive you. It really is another installment of

It's been quite awhile, as the good Doctor's Infinite Crisis related duties have kept him from answering your questions. So, if you missed the first two installments go here and here. Now, onward!

Dear Doctor Polaris,

If you did end up taking over the world, what would your policy be regarding health care and the elderly?


Dear Kalinara,

I thank you for your query. Though I am skilled in a great variety of disciplines, your question goes straight to the heart of one of my two fields of expertise. As a medical doctor, I am uniquely qualified to be the steward of our planet's healthcare system. Which brings me back to my primary field of expertise: magnetism!

You should know that before I embarked upon my quest to rule this world I travelled the country demonstrating the awesome healing powers of magnetism! With magnetism, all ills will be cured and all will surely thank Doctor Polaris on bended knee!

As for the eldery, they will all be killed.

Doctor Polaris

Dear Doctor Polaris,

I'm a student of an alternative religion, but my boyfriend has been attending Bible Study classes at the local Free Will Baptist Church. He's become very insistant that I join him over the last few weeks. I've studied Christianity intensely, and have found that it is not the right place for me. But he is unwilling to accept my decision in this matter. What should I do?

Sacreligious in San Antonio

Dear Sacreligious,

Your question makes me wonder why you have not crushed him beneath your heel. Your boyfriend shouldn't be worshipping a petty carpenter -- someone who can't appreciate the power of magnetism -- he should be worshipping you. And you should be worshipping me.

Doctor Polaris

Dear Doctor Polaris,

Have you ever met Dr. Domino? I think you and he would get along.

And ... are you single?


Dear Scipio,

I certainly do know Dr. Domino! He and I attended the same university. We used to get together every Saturday night with some other guys and play Dungeons & Dragons. Good times.

As for your second question: Yes. Yes I am.

Doctor Polaris

That's it for the latest installment of Ask Doctor Polaris. As always, send your queries to And remember: the Doctor is in! Insane!



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