Monday, October 30, 2006

I Hate Jor-El

Chris over at the mighty Invincible Super-Blog said something along these lines last week. I'm going to echo it here: I really don't give a damn about Jor-El.

And though I've enjoyed most of what Geoff Johns has done, I'm exteremely wary about his teaming up with Richard Donner on Action. Because I really am not that big a fan of what Donner did.

Yes, I know that Superman: The Movie was the first real super-hero movie. But I have some serious issues with it. And foremost among them is exactly what Chris says: the constant, unending obsession with Jor-El and Krypton.

I mean, c'mon. At their worst the Kryptonians are "The Assholes of Space." And at their best they're arrogant bumblers. Hell, in the animated continuity they created a world-ravaging, evil artificial intelligence. Not the best idea anyone has ever had.

But the movies' ridiculous Krypton is just... Well, it's ridiculous. How could anyone possibly live in those giant, idiotic crystal structures? There aren't any chairs. And I'm pretty sure there aren't any toilets either. And they clearly can't lock the doors -- a fact that leads into the entire plot of Superman Returns.

And while I'm on that subject... I loved Superman Returns. I literally wept tears of joy about the fact that I was finally able to see a Superman movie on the big screen. But I really wish they'd broken completely with the previous films.

They didn't need to do an origin film, but there were a lot of unnecessary (in my view) nods to the Donner films (besides, this means I'll never see my brilliant trilogy of Superman films on the big screen). Let's hope Superman Returns Again Gives us some sort of real menace.

So in conclusion: can we stop talking about Jor-El and Krypton for awhile? I mean, we haven't heard Bruce Wayne angst this much about his parents in recent years. And he has a lot more cause for it than Superman...


At 11:44 AM, Blogger SallyP said...

Heehee. I always get the impression from reading Green Lantern, that the other various intergalactic species, pretty much look down upon Earth as a bunch of yahoos. It's nice to see that Krypton was even more screwed up than us.

At 3:11 PM, Blogger Reel Fanatic said...

I loved Superman Returns, but I'm definitely with you on this one ... Now that Singer has gotten the green light for another flick, here's hoping he finds a new and better storyline

At 7:56 PM, Blogger Chris Sims said...

Thank you.

At 8:58 PM, Blogger Tom Foss said...

To be fair, Jor-El was pretty much absent for a decade-plus. He popped up in the occasional flashback or time travel story or fever dream, but he wasn't a real presence in the comics after the Byrne revamp for a long time.

Kem-L, on the other hand...god, he got overused. And inconsistently used. And used to fight Superman on the psychic Theta-wave battlefield of Torquasm-Vo.

It was Jeph Loeb who kicked things off. His "everything you know is wrong" story about Jor-El and Krypton led to "Return to Krypton," which led to this trend of bringing daddy in every few months like some 5th-dimensional imp. And Smallville's use of Jor-Zod as a villain since...what, season 2? Hasn't helped the situation any.

I have a post similar to this about General Zod. As much as I dislike Jor-El, as long as Pa Kent's alive, Jor-El will stay in the background. Zod, on the other hand, gets reinvented every time someone gets a nostalgia bug for Superman II. Go watch it again; Terence Stamp beats the line into the ground until it's indistinguishable from the pavement. The line has been cool twice: when Zod said it at the beginning of Superman: The Movie, and when Jay said it in Mallrats.

Sorry, kind of got on a tangent there. I can handle giant crystals; I can even handle them making the transition to the comics (though hopefully we'll see that comic Clark has a little more security than his celluloid counterparts), but what I really would prefer not to handle is another General Zod.

At 1:29 AM, Blogger Mallet said...

The first real comic movie?

My friend...

No matter where you try and throw it, sometimes you just can't get rid of a bomb.

At 2:31 AM, Blogger Diamondrock said...

Sally - Yeah, they all do look down on Earth. But it's a fearful sort of arrogance. Because all the aliens know that Earth has more super-beings per capita than any other planet in the universe...

Reel - Gimme Braniac. That's all I ask.

Chris - No, thank YOU. You are an inspiration to us all.

Tom - I agree 110%.

Mallet - I stand corrected.


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