Wild Dog Returns!

You all remember Wild Dog, right?

Of course you do. After all, who could forget the Midwest's favorite gun-toting vigilante? Especially after all that effort I put into Wild Dog Week.

But here's something you don't know about Wild Dog Week: there was a single Wild Dog story that I did not talk about. Tonight, we remedy that situation. And this is a very special Wild Dog. Because my friends... Wild Dog gets a sidekick:

Of course, Wild Dog doesn't want to take a kid along while he's engaging in violent, hardcore vigilantism. He's not stupid. No, the kid tags along of his own volition. Oh, and his codename? Wild Pup, of course.

Now, seeing as Wild Dog wants nothing to do with Wild Pup, this dynamic duo doesn't exactly have a Batman/Robin relationship...

No, Wild Dog wants nothing to do with the kid. Because from the first moment he shows up he starts cramping Wild Dog's style. Wild Dog can't just do his thing with a bratty kid running around.

You see, when the kid is around people get shot. But not by Wild Dog. And that, my friends, is just senseless. To top it off, Wild Pup's presence forces Wild Dog to sometimes shoot guys even when Wild Dog doesn't want to.

Take the case of the wild-eyed, maniacal vegetarian killer (sample demand: "the president must declare vegetarianism mandatory") who takes a burger joint hostage. Wild Dog had planned to just rough the guy up a bit, maybe shoot him in the legs. But when Wild Pup intervenes...

Though to be fair, I'm pretty sure that guy was going to be the next Hitler.

But things take a turn for the worse thanks to Wild Pup. Throughout the entirety of this story Wild Dog has been hunting for a lady killer who is slaying her old boyfriends as part of an elaborate, twisted revenge. This is something Wild Dog can sympathize with (they were all assholes) but still cannot condone.

Unfortunately, Wild Pup gets in the way and gets himself stabbed. This, of course, leads to our Death in the Family moment.

Wild Dog -- despite not having dressed Wild Pup in short pants and then bringing him along to face the Joker -- feels really guilty about what has happened. Wild Dog does what he does because he feels. He does it because he cares.

And as Wild Dog sits by that poor boy's bedside the serial killer who stabbed him comes a callin'. She wants to turn herself in. She feels guilty because she never wanted to harm an innocent. Wild Dog has to decide whether to take her down or take her word.

"And she was. It was a judgment call, but I left her there with the boy."

If Wild Dog is anything, he's a good judge of character. So you better not lie when Wild Dog asks you if you've been good this year. Because Wild Dog will return.