Wednesday, March 09, 2011


As you no doubt know, from time to time I receive emails. Often these are quite mundane and pedestrian. Some of my fellow super-villains also have a predilection for mass emails of an insipid sort. Enough with the adorable kittens, Kanjor!

I do however receive intriguing emails from time to time. It was not long ago that I received the following missive from one apparently seeking employment in these trying times:


Further to my telecon with Ms. Manju am attaching my resume.

I have been working with a shpping company from home as book-keeper for the past 4 years and have thorough knowledge of quickbooks.

If given this opportunity shall prove myself.

thanks and regards

Lakshmi Ramesh
I find this particularly curious, as I am not acquainted witha Ms. Manju. Now, it's possible that I do know her. She does indeed sound like a super-villain of some sort. But I meet so many villains that sometimes it's hard to keep track. Perhaps she was the arch-enemy of someone ridiculous like Aztek or Maxima.

Regardless, I have this to say to Ms. "Lakshmi Ramesh:" I'm not looking to hire right now. As a semi-retired super-villain I rarely find the need for flunkies, goons, or tagalongs. That said, perhaps I could point you in the direction of a villain who does need some hired help.

Having worked with a shipping company you might consider employment with our old friend Oswald Cobblepot. The Penguin generally does a brisk business in contraband. That said, he is not the easiest employer to work for, and you mus be prepared for the constant scent of fish.

Of course, as a former "book-keeper" you might be able to find work with one of the more financially oriented villains. If you're any good at hiding money and funneling it into sinister, secret projects you might look into applying with LexCorp.

Finally, I don't know what "quickbooks" is, but I can only assume it has to do with those interminable speedsters! Now, Professor Zoom usually works alone, but if you can find yourself a suitable villainous theme you might be able to hook up with the Central City Rogues.

I hope I have been of help to you in your search for employment, Lakshmi. Now, never contact me again. You may want to work for a super-villain, but you have a long way to go before you make it in the big leagues. I mean, did you really think I was going to open that pdf?



At 3:56 PM, Blogger SallyP said...

Awww...that was actually a rather nice thing that you just did! Or was it? Hired henchmen do have a tendancy to never actually live long enough to collect their pensions.


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