Monday, September 08, 2008

Curious Correspondence

As a popular and successful super-villain, I often receive correspondence from friends, adversaries, and kooks seeking my aid. I find that such emails are usually good for a hearty laugh.

But I must say that I was more than a little surprised to receive the following email from a mysterious man who identified himself only as "RICHARD BROMLEY:"

DEAR FRIEND

My name is RICHARD BROMLEY, a merchant in England, but taking treatment
in the U.A.E now. I have been diagnosed with prostate and esophageal
cancer that was discovered very late due to lack of care for my
health. I want you to assist me in disbursing £43,000,000 of my
hidden wealth, please reply me immediately so i can explain further.
Please reply to my private email address below.

##############@yahoo.ie

Be blessed my beloved,
RICHARD BROMLEY


I knew immediately that I had stumbled upon something tremendous. This Mr. RICHARD BROMLEY had come to me for aid... In dispensing with the vast fortune acquired through his work as an undisclosed type of merchant!

BROMLEY you fool! I am no kind-hearted good samaritan... I am Doctor Polaris! Your "hidden wealth" cannot possibly remain hidden for long. I will scour the Earth for its location and take it for myself!

Furthermore, I will cure you through magnetism so that you may live the rest of your life destitute and full of regret. You will regret that you ever came to Polaris for help! I will take your hidden riches, convert them into 75,461,690 dollars and thirty-six cents of real money, and then waste it all on some sort of Doomsday Device that probably won't work.

Let this be a lesson to you: Doctor Polaris does not take charity! I earned all my money the easy way: through magnetism.

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4 Comments:

At 4:18 AM, Blogger Adam said...

That last line is simply priceless.

 
At 8:01 AM, Blogger Sea-of-Green said...

I just KNEW I should have been a super-villain ...

 
At 8:56 AM, Blogger SallyP said...

Supervillains have ALL the fun. But seriously, why can't Mr Bromley simply go to his bank? I know that medical procedures can be expensive, but a cancer treatment costs THAT much?

Go Doctor Polaris!

 
At 3:58 PM, Blogger Scipio said...

I ... I think I love you, Dr. Polaris.

 

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