Friday, February 09, 2007

This is... Wild Dog Week, Day 5!

There's a new group in the Quad Cities. An organization dedicated to wiping evil and depravity from print. And if they're looking for evil and depravity in print, where else do you look but comic books?

But these villains take it a step beyond picketing and petition gathering. They decide to blow up a comic book store. That's on the list of many things that Wild Dog ain't gonna take. So when the terrorists highjack a truck of the most dangerous filth imaginable...

Wild Dog shows up to play.

And in a move right out of the Handbook of Totally Awesome Vigilantism Wild Dog catches a Molotov Cocktail and chucks it back at the guy who threw it. The results are as predictable as they are tragic.

Tragic, of course, because Wild Dog got shot.

Our anti-smut terrorist/crusaders take a moment to consider their astonishing good fortune. Because it obviously isn't going to last. Body armor, suckers!

Whoa. Did he... Did he really just say that? That's... That might be the scariest thing I've ever read in a comic book and the most hardcore. Both at the same time. Uh, let's move along.

The following evening, the terrorists take their roadshow to a local newspaper that's been expressing support for a novel thing called "free speech." They can't have that, can they? Unfortunately for them, Wild Dog's not going to give them a choice.

Shoot him? Yeah, I'm sure that's going to work. It doesn't take long for Wild Dog to get the drop on the leader of the terrorists.

Man, they don't make "true believers" like they used to.

Next stop for the legion of anti-smut? The local art museum, where tasteful nudes are being exhibited. And I've got to say, this time they've gone two far. A local Augustana College student seems to feel the same.

I echo the young lady's sentiments. Ted was a shining star snuffed out too soon. Those responsible must be made to pay.

Luckily Wild Dog's on hand to capture the reverend behind the anti-smut crusaders and through the threat explosion convince him not to destroy the museum. This, in turn, saves the tasteful nudes that Ted gave his life for. He did not die in vain.

Unfortunately, the good reverend escapes. Fortunately for justice, the reverend's been sleeping with Ted's mom. Unfortunately for the reverend, she's really good with a butcher knife.

Tomorrow: someone decides they've had enough of the totally awesome vigilantism and decides to hunt Wild Dog down... like a dog! Be here tomorrow for the penultimate edition of Wild Dog Week!



At 10:38 AM, Blogger SallyP said...

But...but were any comic books harmed in the making of this story? Interested readers want to know!

Seriously, the bad guy was sleeping with the mother of the guy that got shot? But I thought he was ANTI-smut?

At 1:18 AM, Blogger Fortress Keeper said...

I don't blame them for wanting to burn Mystery Digest. I hate that magazine.


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