Monday, May 18, 2009

August Solicitations/Mortal Terror

August Solicitations for DC Comics are out. And I am scared witless.

Sometimes people have irrational fears and phobias. I am one such person. My irrational fear is somewhat inconvenient for someone living in the modern world. You see, I am deathly afraid of zombies.

I won't watch zombie movies. As a rule, I avoid pretty much anything with zombies in it. Now, I'm no fool: I know zombies don't exist. But that doesn't keep me from being paralyzed with fear at the very thought of them.

I'm sure you can see my predicament.

As a loyal DC Comics fan I can ill afford to miss what may be the comic event of the decade. A comic event awash in zombies. Just look at all the Blackest Night tie-ins. Look at all the horrible covers. I'm terrified, but I can't afford to look away.

I've known this was coming, but I've put it out of my mind. With the solicitations before me I can no longer avoid it. Perhaps this is the time to face my fear.

After all, isn't that what Green Lantern is all about?

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At 11:51 AM, Blogger Jake said...

By all indications these ones only seem to want to kill us, not eat our brains and transform us into shambling creatures, so that's a plus isn't it?

And if I'm wrong, you hang out with Dr. Polaris. Any brain-eating zombies will be drawn to him first, whereupon magnetism will quickly dispatch them.

At 2:58 PM, Blogger Diamondrock said...

You're right about the brain eating: that is VERY much a plus. I guess my fear is of *becoming* a zombie more than anything.

And Doctor P will be handy, don't you doubt. And if all else fails there's Azrael with the fire...

At 4:24 PM, Blogger Doctor Polaris said...

Magnetism never fails!

At 4:33 PM, Blogger SallyP said...

So I take it that you'll be up on the roof with a shotgun all summer?

Can't you just see the Zombies thumping Hal's head like a ripe melon, a la' Homer Simpson...looking for some actual brains? John better start running now.

At 8:20 PM, Blogger Diamondrock said...

Sally - I've already got a nice spot next to the chimney picked out.


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