The Cape
The cape has a long and storied tradition in the world of superheroics and supervillainy. I myself wear an exceptionally fine cape. It was specifically tailor-made for me by a craftsman after I kidnapped his family (I gave them back -- the cape is that nice).You may be asking why I -- Doctor Polaris -- would be waxing on about capes when I am usually directing my ire towards deserving fools. Such as Marvel. Well, that's what I'm doing. Because Marvel has a shortage of capes.
The cape is noble! (or ignoble, as the case may be) Yet the fools who inhabit the Marvel Universe look upon it with scorn! Does Spider-Man wear a cape? Does Captain America? How about Iron Man? The Hulk? No, these fools do not. There are some -- namely Magneto (Magneto!) -- who do wear capes. But they are exceptions (besides, we've already established that Magneto is a dim copy of myself).
Despite being on opposite sides, I respect men like Superman, Batman, and the others who wear capes for their sense of fashion. They may be goody goody losers, but they know what looks good.
But you know who doesn't wear a cape? Hal Jordan.
Labels: Doctor Polaris
posted by Doctor Polaris @ 6:39 AM
4 comments
4 Comments:
Ah, but capes are best if you like to pose.
People at marvel were too busy fighting crime to stop and pose.
Of course, now it's because they're too busy bickering amongst themselves to stop and pose.
But hey, Doctor Doom has a cape. A green one. How many people can pull that off well?
Ah, but Parallax DID wear a cape.
A green one.
Capes are for flyers, because they billow so nicely, and for villains, because villains like capes. Or something. Oh, they also work on majestic highly-trained warriors such as Batman and Black Panther. (T'Challa's also a king, so the cape is perfect for him.)
It's almost impossible to picture the Hulk in a cape. oO
Thor has a cape - and a GREAT BIG HAMMER to hit people with if anyone dares laugh at him.
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