Sunday, February 18, 2007

On the Trail

Greeting loyal readers. It is I, Doctor Polaris -- your next president. I have been busy these past few weeks spending time in the states of Iowa and New Hampshire.

Oh, how I despise them. I am sickened that so much of our nation's future rests upon these pathetic enclaves. They are so damn cold. I am originally from Southern California! Where the weather is glorious much of the year! The ice and snow those two states is an affront to my sensibilities.

And so, I make the following declaration: should I be elected president I will do everything in my power to accelerat the process of global warming. And don't give me any of that "global warming doesn't exist" crap. I'm a scientist. Global warming is real. An I promise to use it to make places like Iowa and New Hampsire actually livable.

Of course, there is one man who will stand in my way -- should my opportunity come to pass. His powers are formidible, but I do not fear him. He will not prevent me from warming the earth and boiling the seas to create year round warmth for all the people of America.

I do not fear you, Al Gore! So swears Polaris!

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At 9:29 AM, Blogger SallyP said...

Well, you have my vote. Last week the snow/sleet/freezing rain/hail and locust shower, prevented me from getting to the comic book shop for ONE WHOLE DAY!

Oh the horror.

At 4:20 PM, Blogger LurkerWithout said...

Al Gore has a Nerd Action Squad man! Gary Gygax is on it! I'd be worried about taking them on...

At 1:04 PM, Anonymous Cabel said...

If you make your campaign slogan "Make New Hampshire Livable" I will come and manage your campaign.

At 4:09 PM, Anonymous Matthew said...

I still think Dr. Doom would run us better.


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