A Treatise on "Greatness"

I weary of the debate. I speak, of course, of the debate that raged across the pages of a well-known blog. The question of who could be called the "greatest" of the "Green Lanterns." My expertise in this matter has been requested; I shall oblige.

Let it be known that I have, on multiple occasions, had cause to face down the various Earth Green Lanterns in combat. Indeed, my first foray into supervillainy saw me arrayed against the bumbling ineptitude of the Green Lantern known as "Hal Jordan." So I am uniquely qualified to weigh in on which of the Lanterns is the "greatest."

But first, we must consider the meaning of the word "great." In one context, the word has a positive meaning. For example "Alexander was the greatest general of the ancient world." But in another context the word can have a very different meaning. Consider the following: "Hal Jordan is the greatest fool I've ever known." In this case the word carries a negative connotation.

Since we are speaking of Green Lanterns, it is the latter context that I shall employ. So know this: Hal Jordan is the greatest fool I've ever known. It is a fact that his intelligence shines only in comparison to the dimmest of primates. Among the great apes he would be consider quite the dullard.

But more than that, Hal Jordan's skull serves as the greatest magnet for head trauma the world has ever seen. In battle, I would not even have to work hard in order to cause Jordan to smack his skull into a girder, buttress, or similarly exposed object.

The other Green Lanterns are skilled in many ways. But as I have said before, their skulls lack a certain je ne sais quoi when struck by heavy objects. It is indescribable, that. But what I do know is that Hal Jordan has it. This alone is enough to make him not only my "greatest" enemy, but the "greatest" of the "Green Lanterns."