Friday, January 09, 2009

The Governor is a Super-Villain

Like nearly thirteen million Americans, I live in Illinois. We the people of the state of Illinois are under siege. We are in the grip of a madman who can only be described as a crazed super-villain. I speak of course of Milorad Blagojevich!

With every passing day Blago reaches new heights of comic book super-villainy. He's like something out of the Golden Age. He defiantly declares that no one can defeat him. He claims schemes are really for the public good. He hides behind innocent civilians who have been mesmerized by his powers. And he keeps running his mouth and quoting British poets.

Like most super-villains Blago started small. He blackmails a major metropolitan newspaper. He holds a children's hospital hostage. Then he moves on to bigger things like scheming to sell a senate seat on his way to the presidency. Like a Golden Age bad guy he delights in his villainy and takes every opportunity to flaunt it in public. And like all super-villains he seems impossible to stop.

Illinois is under siege. We the people cannot last much longer beneath the yoke of this 1940's-style mastermind. We need help. We need a hero.

Save us, Superman!



At 9:12 AM, Blogger SallyP said...

He also has bad hair. Only a villain could wear his hair like that in public. I assume has has an evil-looking cape in his closet as well.

At 1:20 PM, Blogger Doctor Polaris said...

Not all super-villains have bad hair, my dear.

At 10:58 AM, Blogger SallyP said... ARE in a class all by yourself.

At 12:06 PM, Blogger Sea-of-Green said...

Don't worry -- someone will nail him on income tax evasion. Isn't that how you guys took out Al Capone? ;-)

At 6:55 PM, Blogger Derek said...

Haha, I know, right?

And did you hear that press conference he gave the other day?

"Those vicious bastards in the House want to impeach me! And why? Because I built a hospital and want to cure sick people! How can anyone side with that arrogant Superm- I mean, House?"

At 10:24 PM, Blogger Diamondrock said...

It's exactly like that, Derek. Exactly. He's like Lex Luthor. With hair.

And it was the Feds that got Capone... I don't think anyone here actually *wanted* to get him...


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