This Isn't Working

Not long ago I asked some of the readers for relationship advice. I'm sure you can gather how well that's going from the title of this post.

As one faithful reader suggested, I tried getting in touch with Supergirl. I mean, she's a member of the Superman Family! That's like royalty in the DCU! She didn't return my call. But I did get an "arms crossed hovering outside the window looking stern" visit from a certain fellow in blue tights.

So it looks like I'm not going to be seeing Supergirl any time soon. But I'm actually happy about that. You know she's only seventeen? I'm not a sicko or anything.

Anyway, I've left several messages with Barbara (unlike some, she occasionally answers my calls). From what I've gathered she used to go to college with this "Spy Smasher." If they're still on good terms, she might be able to set us up. I'm crossing my fingers...

I'm So Terribly Lonely

I'm tired of spending my weekends patrolling in the rain and watching reruns of Law & Order: SVU. I need to get out more. Be around people. I need to get me a girlfriend.

I'll admit that I've never had much luck with women. I mean, I'm twenty-seven for Saint Dumas' sake. And you know how many girlfriends I've had in that time? Let's just say I can count them all on one hand. And that's when I'm wearing my three-finger gauntlets...

But I've spent enough time moping about it. I need to get out there. There are hundreds of unattached ladies in the DCU. Many of whom are super-heroines. So, in the spirit of last year's epic job hunt I'm asking my faithful readers for help.

So, who do you think I would get along well with? And more importantly, do you know of any girls in the DCU who would actually be willing to go out on a date with me? I understand that I'm not exactly Hal Jordan, but I do have some reedeming qualities...

What do you think?