Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Mysteries

Those who know me well know that above all I enjoy a good mystery. There's nothing I like better. And now that the mysteries of Supernova and the JLA villain have been revealed, there's only one big mystery left in my eyes. So the question becomes: who's trying to destroy the Justice Society of America?

There are a lot of hints. Little teases in the previews and clues in magazines. I've pieced it all together, and I've come up with the villain that I see as being the most likely culprit. His name was Baron Reiter. You might know him better as Baron Blitzkrieg.

This is not idle speculation. I believe that there is evidence enough to support my claim. Let's run through a few of the hints.

1. Legacy: It's quite clear that the villain of JSA is someone with a longstanding connection to the team and its members. And though Baron Blitzkrieg didn't make his first appearance until 1977's World's Finest Comics #246, he was very quickly retconned into the history of DC's Golden Age. The Baron was perennial foe of the All-Star Squadron. As such, he encountered the original Mr. America, Liberty Belle, and Commander Steele.

Indeed, Commander Steel actually features prominently in the Baron's origin. While held captive by the Germans, Steel supplied the acid that a concentration camp prisoner used to scar and blind Blitzkrieg. And the Baron returned the favor by brainwashing Steel into attempting to assassinate the president.

Baron Blizkrieg also plays a part in the history of Liberty Belle. When an experiment to restore his lost sight backfired, the Baron inadvertently gave the orignal Liberty Belle her sonic powers. Less accidentally, he killed her surrogate father Tom Revere.

Of course, that was far from the end of Baron Blitzkrieg. His influence reaches into the present, where he aided Vandal Savage and his Symbolix Corporation when they grafted superpowers onto a child named Grant Emerson -- now known as Damage.

2. Knowledge: It's not enough for the mystery villain to have connections to three-quarters of the new JSA... He also has to have knowledge of them. And a lot of the necessary clues are to be found in a Wizard Universe article from a while back where the villain "speaks."

He makes it very clear that he "knows" Damage in a way that only someone who was close to him could. As mentioned above, the Baron was instrumental in crafting Damage's powers, and they fought several times. (Additionally, there is the symbolic connection they both share due to their horribly scarred faces.)

The villain also speaks of Mr. America in a particularly revealing way. He says that the original Mr. America "derailed key Nazi campaigns against England and Spain and got as close to Hitler as anybody." and says of the new one: "it’s only a matter of time before Mr. America works his way into my inner circle—if he hasn’t already." Interesting that this mystery villain is privy to secret Nazi plans -- and that he compares himself to Hitler.

The Baron has also directly fought against the original Hourman, Green Lantern, Flash, Wildcat, and Hawkman. He knows the old guard just as well as he knows the new.

3. Power: Just as the mystery villain needs knowledge of the JSA, he also needs the power to put it to use. Baron Blitzkrieg was one of -- if not the -- most powerful superhuman to serve under Hitler during World War II.

After his face was scarred, Nazi scientists experimented on the Baron, activating his latent psychic powers. Blitzkrieg was able to channel the power of his mind into his body -- granting him optical blasts, flight, and super-strength on par with Wonder Woman.

But physical power is only a small part of it. The Baron has been called "one of the ten most dangerous men on the planet." He is clever, resourceful, and above all patient. He's got everything needed to go up against the Justice Society of America.

4. Nazis: Baron Blitzkrieg is a Nazi. If the name didn't tip you off, then the gaudy costume emblazoned with Nazi regalia should have. And in issue #2 of Justice Society of America, we see the mystery villain's minions: a cadre of Nazi-themed meta-humans calling themselves "The Fourth Reich." And the solicitation for issue #2 says there are more to come.

So what does all this mean? It may mean that I'm grasping for straws and looking for patterns where there aren't any. But it could also mean that I'm on to something. It might mean that the mystery villain of JSA is one of the most dangerous men on the planet: a super-powered Nazi genius out to rule the world.

There is one problem with all this, of course. Superboy-Prime apparently killed Baron Blitzkrieg during the Battle of Metropolis in Infinite Crisis #7. But hey... New Earth, right? Besides, a character being dead has never stopped Geoff Johns from using them to tell a good story...

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Monday, January 29, 2007

Get Ready For A Wild Ride

McCain! Obama! Brownback! Hillary! So many impudent politicians are beginning their runs for the White House. The fools! They dare to believe that they can surpass the likes of Lex Luthor? Or Bill Clinton? They are not fit to lick the boots of men such as these.

No, America needs a visionary for this new century. Someone who understands this modern world and the trials it presents. Someone who isn't afraid to tell it like it is, and then crush anyone who disagrees. Someone like me.

Yes, my friends. I am announcing my candidacy for President of the United States. Tremble my enemies at the might of my tax plan! Kneel before the awesome power of my healthcare reform package! Quiver in awe at the sight of my roadmap for peace in the Middle East!

No candidate for president brings with him the things I do. Magnetic might and a keen mind together are enough. But adding to that my good looks and raw sex appeal? I am unstoppable..

Give it up, Richardson. Go home, Duncan Hunter. Weep bitter tears of defeat, Dennis Kucinich. It's already over. Polaris for President.

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Saturday, January 27, 2007

Earths

I tend to have a lot of free time when I'm not inflicting righteous justice on the wicked. And in my free time I tend to think about things. Lately I've been pondering this whole "multiverse" thing. And the prospect of a bunch of numbered worlds spiraling out of the ether makes me wonder.

Remember how Kyle Rayner and that new Firestorm turned out to be their versions on some "Earth-8"? At first I thought that was silly. But then I began to think about what they all have in common. And well, I wondered: might I be the Batman of Earth-8?

Just think about it for a second! Consider all those late 90's early 00's replacement heroes. Most of them were young and many of them were eventually sidelined again to make way for the originals. It describes me perfectly!

If this is indeed the way things work, then maybe with the return of this "multiverse" I'll get to come back as well! A Gotham City all to me own! Without you-know-who complaining about what a crappy job I'm doing and always comparing me unfavorable to Nightwing...

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Thursday, January 25, 2007

RAARGH!

Fools! I weary of this travesty! Four Horsemen! World War III! So much insanity! So many characters!

But where am I, fools? Where is Polaris? There's supposed to be a multiverse out there! Dozens of worlds! Is there no room for Doctor Polaris? No room for the Master of Magnetism? No room for the Magnetic Maestro?

Why must I be shut out? I don't even have Heroclix figure yet! That whiny loser Azrael's got one! I played major roles in both of the DCU's major Crises! Where am I now?

I'm tired of this.

Give me a place of honor! A place of power! Or I shall reign terror down upon your world Dan DiDio? You think dealing with Grant Morrison is bad?

Wait until you see me.

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Tuesday, January 23, 2007

An Epic Struggle

I played my first ever game of Heroclix this past Saturday. It didn't exactly go well. You see, we only had the pre-made teams that my friend put together (they all belonged to him as I don't have any of my own in Japan). Luckily he had a few DC teams, so I chose a team consisting of Wonder Woman, the Flash, and Batman & Robin. The other two -- original thinkers both -- took teams of X-Men.

My third friend chose to play referee for us newbies which left me and my team of DC super-heroes sandwiched in between two teams of angsty mutants. I'm sure you can guess how it all turned out. Some highlights:
  • Four X-Men piling onto Wonder Woman, unable to bring her down for many turns as she tears chunks out of Wolverine.
  • A good laugh from everyone when one friend asked whether or not his Professor X could climb the stairs on the game mat.
  • A good laugh from me when the Flash outwitted Professor X every turn and punched him in the head repeatedly.
  • Robin hitting Colossus with batarangs.
  • An entire team of X-Men chasing Robin around the board as he nimbly leapt from rooftop to rooftop.
In the end I lost. But that was in the cards from the beginning, considering my poor placement and my rookie mistake of splitting my heroes. Next time I'll make my own team. Then they'll learn.

Friday, January 19, 2007

The Last Page

Comics are about the last page. It's the hook. The surprise or the shock. The cliffhanger that keeps people coming back for more. It's one of my favorite things about comics. Trade paperbacks? Screw that! I want tension and draman and a desperate wait for the next issue.

That being said, I now bring you my favorite last page of the week. This one's from Catwoman #63:

Pfiefer, you never disappoint. I can't wait for next month.

Thursday, January 18, 2007

What a Week

Holy crap 52 was awesome this week. Like the man said, there's a shock on practically every page. And they're the good kinds of shocks.

We're finally reaching fever pitch with 52. Things are building and everything's coming together. This week several key story arcs took momentous turns.

Next week? The Four Horsemen. More turns in store...

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

The Invisible Hand

Well, it seems that the cruel, skeletal hand of Adam Smith has helped me do what I could not do myself: namely, cull my pull list.

I've been looking to chop some books for awhile now. But I'm sure you are all well aware how incredibly difficult that is. Fortunately (and unfortunately in some ways) the market has taken care of this for me. As of April, three books I currently buy are cancelled.

The first book is one that I will admit I'll miss. Firestorm is being cancelled with issue thirty-five, and I'll say I've been expecting it. Not because the books is bad, mind you. Far from it. I think it had one of the most sucessful OYL turnovers. But that wasn't enough for some fans. If it's not the original Firestorm, they don't want it. Luckily, Jason Rusch isn't going anywhere: Dan DiDio says he'll be joining a team sometime later this year.

A book that had considerably less success in the OYL turnover is Hawkgirl. I'm disappointed that the book is going out the way it is. Not because I've been enjoying Hawkgirl all that much. Quite the opposite: it's been the foremost on my "cut" list for awhile. No, I'm disappointed that the book took such a nosedive after the Crisis. The book was on fire for awhile there during the Gray/Palmiotti/Bennett era when it was still Hawkman. That was some good comics.

But the biggest disappointment is, of course, Manhunter. One of the best books on the stands bar none, and it just couldn't find the audience. Still, fans were able to save the book once. So we did get a bit more time that we would've had otherwise. Thirty issues is pretty respectable in today's marketplace, after all. But it's still a damn shame.

So, come April I'll no longer be buying Firestorm, Hawkgirl, or Manhunter. And I'm going to try to not replace them. But I'm not Green Lantern...

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

The Future

Holy crap. Check out the solicitations for April 2007. Specifically, take in The Brave and The Bold #3. Yes, that is indeed The Fatal Five, my favorite team of supervillains from any century.

I find that solicit especially intriguing, as their appearance in that particular book has implications for the future. Consider the following: because of continuity changes with the Legion, The Fatal Five doesn't technically exist in continuity.

Yet.

You see, Mark Waid -- the man writing the most recent relaunch of Legion of Super-Heroes -- is also writing The Brave and the Bold. A book where Blue Beetle and Batman will fight them, and in a perfect world get their asses kicked by a team that can take on the frickin' Legion.

That aside, this may be a signal of things to come. Are we getting a preview of the future of Supergirl and the Legion of Super-Heroes? Will Mark Waid finally give me what I asked for so very long ago?

Offer's still open, Waid. You got toilets that need scrubbing?

Monday, January 15, 2007

Revelations

So I was trying desperately to get to sleep when my mind wandered to comics (as it often does). Somehow I got to thinking about super-heroes and their largely unrealistic body types. It's no secret that super-heroes are know for their fine physiques. And the Green Lanterns are all especially well known for their rock hard abs and finely toned buttocks.

And it hit me: it makes perfect sense that all the Green Lanterns look like that. Their rings run on willpower, after all. And I'll tell you from experience that it takes a hell of a lot of willpower to eat healthy food, go to the gym, and do hundreds of sit-ups every day.

So I think every moment we don't see guys like John Stewart and Hal Jordan fighting evil they're in the gym or making protein smoothies. It's the only thing that makes sense.

Sunday, January 14, 2007

Not Feel So Well

So I managed to fail in my "post every day" resolution before the month was even up. It happens. And I have an excuse. I'm... Sick... I'm feeling like Batman does:

Except I'm not fighting goons. I'm fighting bacteria. Now I'm going to sleep.

Friday, January 12, 2007

What I Love About Comics

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Delurk or Suffer

I return!

My vacation was long, warm, and enjoyable. It's amazing how easy it is to take a nice vacation when you have millions stashed in an off-shore bank account. And you're "dead."

But I digress. I come here to speak of lurking. Various other bloggers claim this to be a "National Delurking Week." Despite the fact that I recognize no national borders, I still join the call.

Fools! Speak to me! Speak to Polaris! I know that there are many of you out there. Those who worship at the altar of Polaris. The time is nigh for you to rise up and declare your allegiance! Now and forevermore!

Look, just be thankful I got to this before Azrael did. He'd be all mopey about it.

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Wednesday, January 10, 2007

An Explanation

My brief foray into the Marvel universe has taught me a lot. It's taught me about Marvel, about myself, and what I find intriguing about the Marvel universe. The answer is not a whole lot.

I've never really found much to like about Marvel's heroes. Most of them I find incredibly dull, condescending, or just downright annoying. Which is why I was so shocked to find that there were Marvel characters that I actually do like. But after I worked my way through Deadpool, Taskmaster, and Agent X and started looking at Cable/Deadpool, it started to become abundantly clear.

All of the aforementioned title characters (with the exception of one) are largely villains (or "antiheroes" or a sort). They don't play by the "rules" of the Marvel universe and they act or function in the way a normal Marvel hero does. And when I hit Cable/Deadpool (which has a lot more of those "standard" Marvel heroes) I started to get back my annoyance with the Marvel universe.

I think what I'm trying to say is that I like Deadpool. He's a jerk and a maniac and not necessarily a nice person. But (at least in the early Joe Kelly stuff and the later Gail Simone stuff) he was genuinely trying to be a good person. But he didn't whine about it in the process. He didn't bemoan his disfigurement. He pushed past the pain he felt and genuinely did some good things (hell, he saved the world a couple of times).

To me, this made him very different from the other heroes. And now I'm seeing that dichotomy again, because in the Cable/Deadpool stuff I read there were a lot of guest appearances by the other heroes of the Marvel universe. And every time they showed up I wanted to slap them. Until Deadpool did something to make them look stupid -- then I smiled.

That was another thing I found appealing about the Deadpool comic. Whenever there was an appearance by another Marvel character it almost always had a heavy component of Deadpool mocking them. Which obviously was appealing to me.

So yeah. I don't imagine I'm going to start buying any Marvel monthlies anytime soon. And I won't be touching their big events. And I'll gouge out my eyes before I go near anything with an "X" in the title (the aforementioned Gail Simone created Agent X excepted).

Whether I like it or not (and I do), I'm a DC boy. And I probably will be for life.

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Now *That's* Impressive...


Why yes, I am past my oh-so-brief Marvel phase. Why do you ask?

Monday, January 08, 2007

Identity Crisis

What has happened to me? How have I come to read such old Marvel comics as Deadpool and Taskmaster? How is it that I have come to enjoy them?

I don't know if I like this new me. He's mostly the same as the old me, but he's more confused about what's going on. I know the DCU like the back of my hand, but I've got no clue who "Garrison Kane" is.

I'm worried that I'm going to start branching out. That I'm going to try new things. Terrible things. I know that there are some things I won't touch... My inborn sense of decorum will make sure I steer clear of anything with an "X" or "Spider" in the title (also "Wolverine).

But what about the 3% or Marvel books that don't contain those words/letters? The new me might be willing to try them. And I really don't know how I feel about that.

Sunday, January 07, 2007

I Don't Know How To Feel

Well, I was a little shocked to find out this week that my old enemies the Order of St. Dumas are still in business (or back in business, whatever the case may be). And I'm more than a little hurt about it.

Why haven't they called me? I'm supposed to be their chosen avenging angel, right? What're they doing with this Mark Shaw guy? They're not going to replace me, are they? Are they?

Someone give me some reassurance here. As many of you know, I tend to be woefully insecure. It doesn't help that I have to deal with a guy like Doctor Polaris on a regular basis (he called after the news and proceeded to mock me mercilessly).

Of course, maybe I'm better off. The avenging angel job wasn't exactly a good job. And I'm not sure I was that good at it. But if Mr. Shaw does take the job, I wish him the best.

Though I imagine it won't turn out well for him either...

Saturday, January 06, 2007

Geeking Out

Different things cause different people to geek out. Some people geek out over the return of minior, albeit awesome characters. For others, it's as simple as Hal Jordan's ass (which is also perfectly acceptable).

I tend to geek out of sillier, stupider things. Take for example this week's Manhunter and the eagerly awaited (by me, anyway) return of THE ORDER OF ST. DUMAS.

I honestly never thought I'd see them again. Ever. But here we have Marc Andreyko (God bless him!) bringing back Azrael's old nemesis and it seems -- and I love this kind of stuff -- connecting them somehow to Mark Shaw's backstory. It makes sense, as he once used the name "Dumas."

So, long story short, I flipped out and started yelling at the comic. Then the guy who lives below me text messaged me and asked what the hell I was yelling about. The walls (and floors) are like paper in this country (though sometimes that's literal).

Friday, January 05, 2007

I'm Scared

Today I took a bold step... A step into a forbidden world I never thought I'd tred upon. I'm not really sure how to feel about it, and I wasn't really keen on sharing, but here goes:

I read a Marvel comic.

Now I know this doesn't seem all that shocking... But if you know much about me, then you know that this is a huge step (though whether forward or backward, I cannot say).

I don't really feel like sharing anything else. I'm not sure what I'm feeling. Except that I feel like I'm betraying something. But then, I'm not exactly reading a conventional Marvel book. There's very little angsting and even less whining. So there's that.

Thursday, January 04, 2007

Thirty Second Recap: "Robin: Boy Wanted"

Well, Chris of The Mighty Invincible Super-Blog has decreed that a thirty second recap contest will take place.

That, I cannot not take part in. So here is my recap of the first One Year Later story in Robin:

"Robin: Boy Wanted"







Special thanks to the creators of Casstoons.

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

It's Metron!

That's right, folks. It's...

It's Metron!, the most ubiquitous of Jack Kirby's New Gods. The New Gods don't show up all that often in the DCU. Sure, a few have been members of teams and Darkseid shows up whenever someone wants to make Superman seem extra super without a lot of effort. But other than that, they're rarely seen.

Except for Metron!

The Man (god) in the Moebius Chair is everywhere! He's getting schooled by Jay Garrick in JSA:

He's being spooked by by Batman in an alternate distopian future in JLA:

He's teaming up in Blue Beetle:

And he's in Grant Morrison's Seven Soldiers! And Kurt Busiek's JLA/Avengers! And Justice League Unlimited!

If you read DC comics at all, consider this: When was the last time you saw one of New Gods? Who was it? Chances are, it was probably Metron!

Does he ever!

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Shattered Time

Well, it seems that I let time get away from me during this holiday season. Such things happen, especially when you're caught up in the whirlwind of Christmas and Japanese New Year's celebrations. Those things are nuts.

Anyway, I hope to return to posting again. Let's say... Right now.

That being said, I think this might be the longest stretch I've gone without posting. Sorry about that, Mom.

Anyway, I do want to talk about comics again. So how about I make a New Year's resolution? (albeit three days too late) I shall endevour to make sure that one of the three of us posts every day. Doctor Polaris has been vacationing somewhere warm, and Azrael's been... Well, he's been moodier than usual lately. I think he's depressed because someone called him "god-awful." But he'll get over it.

So yeah, it's 2:15 AM and I'm really tired. So there will be sensical stuff tomorrow. At least as sensical as I usually am...

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