Thursday Night Thinking XXV

Tonight: a Thursday Night Thinking mystery!

Who is this mysterious thinker? Where is he thinking? And most importantly, what is he thinking of doing to poor Dick Grayson?

The possibilities boggle the mind!

Night In

Some nights you just don't feel like doing anything. This happens to be one such evening. So, I've decided that there will be no substantive blog post. Instead, I intend to spend some time reading a book and then go to bed early. Still, I probably should run that idea by my loyal "idea checker."

So, how about that plan, Wild Dog?

Never argue with a vigilante. G'night everybody.

Multiversing

So, DC has seen fit to release a a list of worlds in the new multiverse. I seem to recall DC specifically saying that they would not release this information. But hey, I guess they can do whatever they want.

I should say that -- despite Countdown not living up to my expectations -- I think I'm starting to be won over (slightly) by the multiverse concept. Though that could have more to do with the prospect of a ginormous war between Monarch, his multiversal thugs, and the Monitors.

I'd pay to see that.

Oh, wait. I am going to pay to see that.

I Don't Know What To Talk About

You may have noticed that I post a lot less on this blog than Diamondrock or the Doctor. That's because I don't often have a lot to say. I've always been the quiet type (or so they tell me).

But sometimes I just have to come out and talk about my feelings. It's the only way to keep me from breaking down and wailing on some guy or taking my vigilantism to a new level of 90's "x-treme." And I know that no one wants that.

So I'd just like to say this: you-know-who never appreciated me. When I stood in for him -- know that he asked me to do it -- I didn't get so much as a thank you. Instead he assaulted the Batcave, disarmed me, and dumped me on the street. I was just trying to help, you know. I did take down Bane thank you very much.

And nobody every mentions my daring barricade assault on a fortified Gotham City during the "Contagion" event. I drove a sports car through a military checkpoint! It was red! Am I the only one who remembers that? I helped save Robin's life! How many other vigilantes can claim that.

What I'm saying is that I'd just like a little recognition. I'm really not asking for a costume in the Batcave or anything like that. Maybe a plaque? Or just a photo of me in the back of the cave. It could be kept in drawer where nobody else can see it; I'd be okay with that.

Just give me some credit. I did do some good during those hundred issues and however many crossovers. I tried...

Thursday Night Thinking XXIV

Thursday Night Thinking!

Boredom

Sometimes I sit around and wait for events to unfold around me. Though I am often the center of a grand drama, occasionally I am only a supporting character.

And so here I sit, waiting to see if anyone from Checkmate will break into my home and try to shop me off to that ridiculous Salvation Run world. And though I amuse myself designing elaborate deathtraps which which to crush my enemies, Polaris remains bored.

I shake my fist in rage! Terrible rage! Am I not a supervillain? If you cut me, do I not bleed? And yet here I sit, alone save for a fine battle of wine, my wits, and my memories of better times.

Remember when I became one of the Earth's magnetic poles? That was good for a hoot. Or that time I tried to kill bother Daddy Ray and Little Ray. Truly days to remember. Or what about the time I used magnetic mind control to force millions into slavery?

I miss the good old days...

Let's Talk About...

So yeah. Let's talk about Eclipso.

I used to be a really huge fan of Eclipso. I like crazy costumes, evil powers, and general ominousness. (is that a word?) Eclipso's got all of those. Or at least he used to.

And yeah, I am referring to Eclipso as "he" even though the current host of Eclipso is one Jean Loring. But solicitation previews prove that Eclipso's going back into Bruce Gordon where he belongs.

Eclipso is a brilliant idea with a truly unique character design. But somewhere along the way Eclipso lost his way. I think it all started during the Eclipso: The Darkness Within event (of which I own every issue) that ran through all of DC's annuals sometime back in the 90's. It was an attempt to jazzercise Eclipso into a "hip," "radical" 90's super-villain. Which meant he had to kill a lot of people. And not in a stylish, 1930's Joker kind of way.

So Eclipso's one diamond was split into multiples and everybody and their brother got possessed by Eclipso. There was a lot of nasty stuff, a palace on the moon, and then it ended. Also, one of the Starmen was involved. I think it was the one that no one liked.

Anyway, after that Eclipso had a short-lived series where her killed a lot more people and also tried to kill Sherlock Holmes. (seriously!) He'd lost his nifty costume by this point and had been redesigned with an edgy, 90's sensibility. It was pretty awful.

So Eclipso needed fixing by this point. And lo, when the character with broken continuity needed fixing the Geoff Johns did descend from the heavens and all was right again. And so it was in Johns' JSA arc Princes of Darkness where Eclipso was back to his old tricks (and costume). He wrecked up a good portion of the JSA in that way he does until Jay Garrick stopped him with some well-thrown bricks and his hat. Stylish.

Eclipso was back to one diamond and all seemed right with the world. But then Infinite Crisis started sneaking up on us. And who got the diamond? Resident DCU crazy lady, bad guy, and murderer Jean Loring. And that, my friends, does not work. I will tell you why.

The thing that made Eclipso work as a character were not his evil powers or his awesome hat. It was the dichotomy. That classic dichotomy of good and Evil. When Bruce Gordon was Eclipso, he knew that at any moment something could go wrong and he'd lose control of his body to a dangerous, malevolent entity. And that equals drama.

If the person Eclipso is possessing is just as bad (or possibly worse) than Eclipso, then that dichotomy does not exist. And without it, the Eclipso concept is simply broken. You end up with just another super-villain who shoots beams out of his eyes (or eye, as the case may be).

Eclipso's host needs to be in a constant struggle with him, a representative of that internal struggle between good an evil. Writers at DC often try to use Two-Face to represent that struggle. But as smarter men than me have pointed out, Two-Face isn't about that: he'ss a character for whom there is no difference between good and evil. Flip a coin: it doesn't matter what the answer is because they're both the same.

But it's not that way with Eclipso. For Eclipso is distinctly about that struggle. And without it, the character simply will not work. Luckily, things seems to be getting back on track in Countdown to Mystery (which is awesome and you should all be reading it). Eclipso is being returned to Bruce Gordon -- where he belongs.

And once again we will get to see the conflict between good and evil that rages inside all of us played out in a grand fashion on the streets of the DCU.

Friday Night Fights: Aquaman vs. Un-Thing

The big man has spoken: it's time again for Friday Night Fights!

Tonight, in a ring beneath the sea... It's Aquaman versus the abominable Un-Thing!

Get up off the sand, Arthur! Are you going to let some guy with a name like Un-Thing take you down?

Thursday Night Thinking XXIII

As always it's... Thursday Night Thinking!

Tonight, the thoughts come courtesy a certain Jack Kirby:

Ahh... Look at all those Kirby Dots. Don't you think they're beautiful? Guess the context, kids!

Wondering

I just wanted to say, straight out, that I'm really looking forward to Gail Simone's Wonder Woman. (I love you, Gail!)

And reading about the plans for the series make me more and more excited. The idea of every issue being like a Ray Harryhausen movie makes me want to dance a ridiculous jig with glee.

It's exactly the way it needs to be, you know. Batman's got his street crime with the insane maniacs... Superman's got his alien menaces... Wonder Woman really should be fighting living statues, multi-headed monstrosities, and insane evil gods. Gorillas are good, too.

The most important thing is that we see a lot of fun action infused with a little bit of wit. Something that's been missing from Wonder Woman for far to long. There's no better person for that than Gail Simone.

And she'd better get that invisible jet...

Team Work

I didn't get an invitation to join you-know-who's new Outsiders team.

I mean, it's not like I actually expected it. But know that I was hopeful that I might get a call. When I heard that he was taking over the team, I thought maybe it was an opportunity. Sure, he doesn't want to work with me when people know it. But a covert team that he can disavow? It's a match made in Heaven!

I'd fit right in among a team of misfits and freaks that nobody else wants to have around. And if you need someone with cred as a "dangerous, unhinged psychopath" then well... I'm your man!

Plus I would get to hang out with all sorts of interesting people. Katana, Metamorpho, Geo-Force... Well, not Geo-Force. But you get the idea. People who have an understanding of being on the outside and occasionally entering into psychotic religious delusions.

And so I waited by the phone. For quite a while. I even tried calling, but I couldn't get the nerve and hung up before anyone had the chance to answer. I did that a couple of times, actually...

The Awesome Power of Science

Those of you who know me know that in addition to being a medical doctor I am a scientist of some repute. As such, I often find myself struck by intriguing hypotheses to age old questions. Questions that have bedeviled scientists of lesser intellect for generations. Tonight, I put my mind to just such a question.

And so we begin with the query: exactly what kind of egg is Egg Fu? By "Egg Fu" I am of course referring to Chinese egg mastermind (and jerk who didn't invite me to Oolong Island) Chang Tzu.

It is clear that Chang Tzu is in fact an egg. That could not be more obvious. And as an egg, Chang Tzu must have been laid by some sort of creature. I am no biologist, but that is usually how it works. But there are literally thousands of species upon the Earth that lay eggs. Which one is the source of Chang Tzu's evil?

At first glance, the obvious answer would seem to be a dragon. After all, Chang Tzu is Chinese, a land famous for its beautiful and noble dragons. Unfortunately, a cursory evaluation of the evidence makes this highly unlikely. As I said, dragons are beautiful and noble. Chang Tzu, of course, is hideous and ignoble. After all, is it not noble to invite great minds of scientific evil when populating a sinister island with the greatest minds in scientific evil?

Aside from dragons, what creatures lay giant eggs? Another possible answer is some sort of dinosaur. After all, these great creatures once walked the Earth and laid very large eggs. But this can be quickly discounted as well. By and large, dinosaurs are extinct. It is possible that an egg from some sort of giant saurian was whisked away from Dinosaur Island. But as temporal physics are not one of China's strong suits, we'll leave that aside.

What other possibilities? Other than dragons and dinosaurs, the world's largest egg comes from the ostrich. Ostriches, of course, are known both for their delicious taste and their impressive legs. Chang Tzu has no legs. Strike ostriches from the list.

No, I believe that the answer is simpler than we have all considered. Chang Tzu is an egg that shows not even the slightest courtesy to fellow evil scientists. Only one creature could be the source of such an odious egg: the long extinct dodo.

With that, our scientific investigation is brought to a close. We have looked at all the options... And only one rises from the pack as the incontrovertible truth. And that is what science is all about.

NaNoWriMo Update #1

Well, progress on this year's NaNoWriMo novel continues at a furious pace. I have currently completed 30,000 words... Putting me well ahead of the curve.

And since I've reached the point where things actually start to happen in the story, it's going to go even faster from hereon out. My nigh impossible goal is to write 5,000 words a day every day this week and reach the 50,000 by November 15th.

Wish me luck.

Friday Night Fights: The Return

I received a summons last week. One telling me to get back in the ring. And when the big man calls, You gotta pick up the phone. So here I am, returning to my roots:

Oh yeah. That goes down smooth.

Thursday Night Thinking XXII

Thursday Night Thinking!

Sometimes simple thoughts are the best...

Requiescat in Pace

I read today that Paul Norris, co-creator of Aquaman, died on Tuesday. Mr. Norris was 93 years old.

With his passing, we have lost the last of the great DC Golden Age creators. We are all of us poorer for the loss.

Recruitment

So, Monarch wishes to start a war, does he? And the Monitors wish to join in? Well, what if they threw a war and Polaris came?

I say this now: if these two powers wish to war then I, Doctor Polaris, shall join them. Whose side am I on, you may ask? Why, that is a simple matter: I am on the winner's side. Whosoever shall emerge victorious I shall assist!

What, you say? That makes no sense? Perhaps you wonder how I can choose my side based on which will be victorious. Based on a future event. The answer is simple: the side that wins is the side with Doctor Polaris.

In this, I have have choices. Shall I throw my lot in with the Monitors, a group of fifty-one beetle-browed simians with tremendous cosmic power? They have tried to kill me before. Or shall I join with the Monarch formerly known as Captain Atom. He was a superhero. But then, he also has a massive army of masked foot soldiers. That's incredibly appealing.

So I ask you, loyal readers: whose side should I join? Should I stand with the Monitors and try to hold the Multiverse together (a few of those Earths are mine, after all)? Or should I join with Monarch, and destroy the Multiverse?

I'm With Monarch

Big things are afoot in the DC Universe. I don't have to tell you that. And they are all laid out in Countdown to Final Crisis #26 -- the issue which I believe signals the beginning of the end. There are many, many important things that happen in that issue. But I'm only going to talk about one of them: Monarch's plans for the Multiverse.

In Countdown #26 (I'm not writing the whole name every time) the lead Monitor (which Earth is he from, anyway?) declares that Monarch plans to precipitate a Multiversewide war with the goal of collapsing the Multiverse back into one universe. That's some pretty heady stuff. It takes some serious stones to attempt something like that. And you know what? I hope he does it.

I've made no secret of my dislike of the Multiverse concept. I never liked the first one, and I've been ambivalent about the new one since its introduction. I've mostly managed to make my peace with its existence, but that doesn't mean I ever liked it.

And now I don't have to. Because there's someone out there who's trying to destroy it! Now don't get me wrong; I don't think the Multiverse will actually be destroyed. I don't think Monarch will win. And I'm not sure it would be a good thing if he did. But until this war is over, I'm with Monarch.

Let the Multiverse burn.

Coming Real Soon

Well, it's been one of those long weekends where I don't post at all. Sorry about that, friends. But rest assured I have some things planned for this week. Last week was a hell of a week for comics, and I really want to talk about some of them. I just need to get my thoughts in order.

So expect me (or my co-bloggers) to be talking about Action Comics, Death of the New Gods, and Countdown (sorry, Countdown to Final Crisis). I just need to get some sleep first. You know how it is. Watch this space.

Thursday Night Thinking XXI

Thursday Night Thinking returns! This week: thinking on the beach. Evil thinking. Because as sad as it is, the evil think as much as the good. And sometimes more.

"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do no thinking." Or something to that effect...