Thursday, May 29, 2008

Thursday Night Thinking L

The fiftieth Thursday Night Thinking! Spinning at you! Faster than you can possibly imagine!

I think I can say -- without fear of contradiction -- that "I'll follow it along the time path into the future, by spinning at super super-speed!" is one of the finest thoughts ever.

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Wednesday, May 28, 2008


Well, Stephanie is back to life. Or rather, it's been revealed that she was never dead to begin with. Know that I am pleased with this development. Not only did I like Stephanie from the few times I've interacted with her, but her return from limbo bodes very well for my prospects.

Consider this: You-Know-Who didn't have a case for Stephanie in his Cave. There was a great deal of anger about this (and rightly so). But now it has been revealed that she didn't get a memorial case because You-Know-Who always suspected that she was actually alive. Do you know who else doesn't have a memorial case in the Cave?

And that's only one good point for me. Consider this as well: with Stephanie's "death" we saw a body. And honest to St. Dumas body! And not only that, but we also saw her ghost a couple of times! And this was all with her never having been dead to begin with.

I should note that my ghost has never visited Batgirl (or anyone else for that matter). Further, they never found my body! I mean, it's not like they looked for it. But I was riddled with bullets and then thrown from a window. My chances of surviving that sure were slim… But there was no corpse to prove it!

All this leads me to one conclusion: there's a chance that maybe DC will consider thinking about bringing me back at some point in the indeterminate future. And that gives me hope for the future.

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Tuesday, May 27, 2008

The Magic Pill

Ah, the humble retcon. Is there a more powerful yet unassuming force in comics? I think not.

The retcon can make a dead girl live and a madman a hero. It can make comic relief into a criminal mastermind. The retcon can even destroy a character's long relationship with the love of his life. The retcon can do anything.

And I am forced to admit that I love the retcon. Because without it, I can't imagine that things could change. Because these days things rarely change as they happen in comics. In this day and age they only change retroactively.

If an editor wants a character to dump his wife, he could have him get a divorce. But why bother when you can just retcon her away? What do you do when you need a character who has been on the side of the angels for a long time to suddenly become a villain? Do you have their character grow and change? No way! Just retcon it!

In the world of comics, the retcon is the ultimate power. With it, worlds can be changed and Jason Todd can be brought back from the dead. With the retcon, anything is possible!

What's your favorite retcon?


Monday, May 26, 2008

From The Earth...

This is not a post about comics.

Not long ago NASA's latest Mars lander touched down on the Red Planet. It traveled 422 million miles to get there. That's a very long way. It cost about half a billion dollars to put it there. I for one think it's worth it.

Like a lot of people who read comics I was raised on science fiction. For me, space has always held an intrinsic fascination. it still does, of course. Otherwise I wouldn't read comics like Green Lantern Corps or still watch episodes of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine.

We don't really know that much about what's out there. Which is why there is so much fiction and fantasy written and produced about it. And I love that. But for me, it's not enough. I want to know what's really out there. I want to know if there is telepathic, shape-shifting, ice cream-creating, fire-fearing life on Mars. Or if there ever was.

And I want to know if there is nothing but permafrost as well. Because no matter what's out there we need to explore it. Exploration of all the infinite frontiers is one of the things that makes us human. Some people think it's a waste of money; they wonder why we should bother exploring space.

I'll tell you why we should be exploring space: because it's there. It's out there and we're down here. And if we can go there -- if we can get even the tiniest glimpse of what's beyond the world we know, then it's worth it.

We probably won't find any Kryptonians. And I hope we don't meet any world-ravaging artificial intelligences. But we will find something there. But only if we reach for those stars...

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Sunday, May 25, 2008

No Answers

You know who I really miss? Vic Sage. I mean, Montoya's all right and everything. But I just don't get the same vibe from her as I used to get from the old Question.

Vic Sage just had a certain panache, you know. It wasn't just about the costume. It was his outlook and the way he talked. He had this wild mix of Objectivism and Zen Buddhism that somehow -- though I have no idea how managed to mesh together to make a fascinating character.

And his last year of life was one of the most astonishing stories ever told about a single character. To see someone who knows he is doomed continue fighting... To see him struggle to pass on the mantle of the Question to someone he saw as deserving. Well, it was a sight to see.

But more than anything, I think, it was the way that he asked questions. I guess that's not surprising, given the name he took. But he made a point often that I think people ignore. It's not always about the answers that you find. Because to find the real answers -- the important answers -- you first have to ask the right questions. And Vic Sage did that.

Is anybody doing that anymore?


Thursday, May 22, 2008

Thursday Night Thinking XLIX

Tonight in Thursday Night Thinking: Doctor Fate plays the odds!

Never bet against the good doctor... The laws of probability are his to command!

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Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Little Things Bother Me

DC's August solicits are up. But I'm not really going to get into those right now. I do, however, want to make a little comment about Final Crisis: Revelations.

Now I know that that it's just a tie-in miniseries. But it seems obvious to me that they're trying to name it after the last book of the Bible. Because everybody seems to call that Revelations. But it's not!

You see, I have done something that many people have not: I've actually read the Bible. It's a pain to get through sometimes (Leviticus is a bitch) but I did make it to the last book. And it's titled Revelation.

There's no 'S' in there. It's one single revelation. Hence Revelation. Or you could call it the Book of Revelation. Or the Revelation to St. John. Or the Apocalypse of St. John. Just don't call it "Revelations."

It's just one of those little things that bother me. See, Revelation is one of my favorite books of the Bible. It's so ridiculously inscrutable and filled with such wild imagery that I can't possibly not love it. The only book of the Bible that even comes close is Tobit (only for Catholics!) which features a horny demon, an angel who wrestles him, and a magic fish. How can you beat that?

So, short version: Revelation. Singular. Thanks.

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Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Simple Logic

I continue to receive missives from my devious doppelganger. The fool seeks to goad me into confrontation. Though I previously indicated my intention to irgnore him, I have instead chosen to mercilessly mock him. It will be far more satisfying.

The pitiful fool! He is unable to grasp even the simplest of facts in his attempts to imitate me. Take note: his letters are marked as being from a "Neal Emerson." Emerson? That weak-willed simpleton? All who know me know that I sold Emerson's soul to Neron in exchange for incalculable power. I didn't need it.

Now I ask you, loyal readers... Why would I -- Doctor Polaris -- sign my correspondence with Emerson's name? You don't have to be Brainiac 5 to figure that one out.

It is obvious that this pathetic bumbler does not know the first thing about Doctor Polaris. And if he knows nothing about Doctor Polaris how can he be Doctor Polaris? Hmmm?


Monday, May 19, 2008


All right, friends. I'm back in the game. Let's talk about Final Crisis.

Specifically, an aspect of Final Crisis that I feel well qualified to discuss: Grant Morrison's wacky Japanese superheroes.

I'll admit that at first glance characters like the members of the "Super Young Team" appear to be ridiculously over the time. They appear on the surface to be quintessentially Grant Morrison. You would be forgiven in thinking that there is no way the real Japan could be that wacky.

You would be forgiven, but you'd be wrong. I don't know if Grant Morrison has spent any time in Japan. But on the surface, I'd imagine that he has. And even if he hasn't, he's probably studied some of the pop culture. Because characters like Most Excellent Superbat and Shiny Happy Aquazon aren't that far off from the characters you see in the comics here.

The key, of course, is to combine things that shouldn't go together with bright colors and a dash of poor English. The result is not far from what we've seen in the Final Crisis Sketchbook.

Of course, even though he gets some of it right (Only some... "Shy Crazy Lolita Canary" wouldn't wear a schoolgirl outfit; she'd wear a lolita outfit) the real test will come in how they are played on the page. If Morrison can play them straight while still keeping the wacky elements, they'll be perfect.

(Oh, and for the record... Japanese shopgirls don't usually shout "SUMIMASEN!"... They shout "IRASHAIMASE!")

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Sunday, May 18, 2008


Greetings, friends. This message comes to you from the Internet Kiosk at Osaka's beautiful Kansai International Airport. My friend is in the last few hours of his trip to Japan, and we have been forced to spend the time until the plane leaves here at the airport. There were no early shuttle buses, and I sure as hell am not going to spend 30,000 yen on a taxi...

As such, I'll probably be staying up all night and then be a total wreck come tomorrow (or rather, later today). That being said, there *will* be new postings on this blog come tomorrow.

Thank you for your patience.


Friday, May 16, 2008


Gotham Underground #8 came out this week. I was on the cover. That would lead many to believe that I might be in the comic. I was not.

I really don't know what to think. I can't understand why they would put me on the cover but not put me in the comic. It doesn't make sense. The only thing I can think of is that they're just trying to make me feel bad. It's working.

Oh, Saint Dumas! Why do I still languish in limbo? Why would they torment me by putting me on the cover but not including me in the comic? It doesn't make any sense!

Sure, you could say that they put every Bat-character on that nine panel image. But that wouldn't be accurate. There are a lot of different characters that aren't on that cover. Know that I can think of three or four if I try really hard.

But still they put me there. I guess I should be satisfied with that. A cover mention is better than nothing I supposed. I guess I'll have to be satisfied with that...

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Thursday, May 15, 2008

Thursday Night Thinking XLVIII

This week I'm trapped on an island outside of conventional time that the real world can't reach. As such, I'm a little lacking in comics.

But not in Thursday Night Thinking!

A volcano, you say? I guess I was more right than I thought... Japan is the Land That Time Forgot.


Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Still Existing

Still in vacation mode here, friends. But I just wanted to let you all know that I yet live -- and still I think of comics.

Oh, how my mind considers the consequences of the Human Flame. Oh, how my mind wanders on the return of characters said (but not believed) to be unreturnable. And oh my God how my mind wanders on the fact that I'm tired of waiting for Final Crisis to arrive.

I will admit that I am a sucker for the big events. I love them. This is one of the (many) reasons why DC has always had more of an allure for me than Marvel. The big events in DC are big. Really BIG. This is not to say that Marvel doesn't do Big Events (I hear this "Secretive Invasion" has some scope to it).

But DC's events (usually) span multiple worlds, involve dozens of heroes, bring about death and destruction on an awesome scale, and end civilizations. And call me crazy, but I find that fun.

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Thursday, May 08, 2008

Thursday Night Thinking XLVII

Well, I may be in the middle of something, but that doesn't mean there won't be Thursday Night Thinking! It's inevitable!

I miss the good old days of giant apes. And thoughts about said apes...

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Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Move Along

Well, my friend got in from America tonight, so posting for the next week and a half may be somewhat sporadic.

Still, I'll try to post as much as I can. And I'm sure that the Azrael and the Doctor will be around. So watch this space, my friends.


Monday, May 05, 2008


Le t it be known that I have received another letter from the insidious impostor who has usurped my name. I have chosen to ignore him. He is beneath my notice.

That being said, if I do find him, I'll crush him with two tons of steel.

But other, more important matters are coming to a head. DC Universe #0 was released this preceding week to much fanfare. Many secrets were revealed and portents of terrifying events were shown for all to see. I shall enlighten you as the the things that caught my discerning eye.

Legion of Three Worlds causes me much anxiety. I will watch with anticipation to see if the Emerald Empress will be playing a role. As you all know, we have a history together. I am certain things would have gone better between us were it not for that horrible, horrible eye.

Hal Jordan, it seems, is as foolish as ever. So, Hal, you did not pay attention to Black Hand's powers? Of course, why would ominous powers granted to an unknown fifth tier villain be of any importance. Idiot! It's your job to investigate mysterious occurrences related to extra-terrestrial phenomenon!

Lastly, I wonder what this Libra fellow is up to. As a Reformist Crimologist, I am not directly affected by the actions of Orthodox Crimology (the sect which Libra seems to taking over). But like non-Catholics who keep an eye on the Vatican, I will watch from afar. I don't want another Crime Inquisition...


Thursday, May 01, 2008

Thursday Night Thinking XLVI

Though other "modern" comics deny us the glory of Thursday Night Thinking, Jack of Fables never strays!

Thank you kindly.