Thursday Night Thinking XIII

It never ends... The... The thinking! The Thursday Night Thinking! And tonight the Pre-Crisis Earth-2 Hawkman thinks up a storm! (who says the old Multiverse wasn't confusing?)

I'm pretty sure it's your helmet, Carter.

What do you think?

Wish You Were Here

Star City's a lot cleaner than I thought it would be. But then, compared to Gotham most cities are clean.

Know that I am still fleeing from my pursuers. Star City's pretty big, so it's easy to hide. The biggest problem about this place is the hippies. So many hippies. I think I may head over to Coast City. Lot's of empty buildings to hide in.

And no hippies.

Where's the Giant Monkey?

Are there any villains in the Marvel Universe?

I ask this only because it seems like "heroes" in the Marvel Universe do nothing but fight other "heroes." Every time there's a big event or a touted special issue it's about one of the "good guys" beating up on another one of the "good guys."

Civil War of course is the obvious one. Petty infighting was the point of all that, after all. And World War Hulk is a bunch of "heroes" fighting the Hulk. Who I thought was supposed to be kind of a good guy at one point.

Heck, even the big deal about issue #3 of Thor is the fact that Thor's fighting Iron Man. Why is that? Doesn't Thor have any villains or monsters he could fight? I'd think that would be a lot more interesting than seeing him pound on Tony Stark for twenty-two pages.

But then, I'm not exactly the target audience. I like watching Superman fight giant monkeys, after all. Nobody ever seems to fight giant monkeys in the Marvel U...

Coming Soon

It has recently been brought to my attention that I am featured -- perhaps prominently -- in the new set of DC HeroClix miniatures.


This pleases Polaris. Though not on the scale of a massive statue, these miniatures will still feature my likeness. And they will last forever! Though I fully intend to live for eternity, perhaps there will come a time when even I pass away. But even in that grim, dark future I will not be forgotten! For when all of mankind's other creations pass away the Doctor Polaris HeroClix will yet remain!

But this is idle speculation. Of immediate importance is the quality of the sculpt. So far, images of this miniature elude me. I wish to gaze into the eye of eternity and see myself gaze back. I want to know that the sculptors have done my form justice.

I suppose there is also the matter of the gameplay. I myself have not yet taken part in a game of HeroClix. Will my astonishing powers of magnetism be appropriately depicted? And most important of all: will my Heroclix figure be able to beat the crap out of Magneto's?

I demand answers!

Thursday Night Thinking the Twelfth

Some things in life just don't last... And Thursday Night Thinking isn't one of those things!

Get a move on! You can think when you're dead!

A Brief Respite

You have no idea how weary I am of the wailing. The constant unceasing wailing from some corners of the multiverse. The constant lament that "comics aren't fun" or that "DC has killed all their fun characters."

Now, if you are one of those people who thinks that there is nothing fun or exciting in the DCU then wow. We really are living in different universes.

Are you reading the All-New Atom as written by Gail Simone (I love you Gail!)? It's got wild floating alien heads and the "Palmerverse" and Jetpack Hitler. Jetpack Hitler, people!

Are you reading Blue Beetle? It's touching, funny, exciting, and a whole lotta fun! There are few books on the stands that make me break into a goofy grin as often as Blue Beetle does.

Did you read the Doctor Thirteen backup in Tales of the Unexpected? Holy crap, that was crazy! Crazy in a light-hearted, fun way. It had a Nazi/vampire/gorilla. A Nazi/vampire/gorilla, people!

And if you're still not happy and the stuff I've mentioned isn't happy or fun or cutesy enough for you then, well, I can't... No, wait! There's a flippin' Captain Carrot mini coming out this fall! I dare you to spin that as "grim 'n' gritty." I f%$*in' dare ya.

So is there some dark stuff in comics these days? Absolutely. DC's got it's fair share, just like Marvel does. But stuff like that has always been there. Stretching back through the Bronze and Silver Ages to the Golden. And rose-colored glasses ain't gonna change that.

Still Alive

Well, I managed to climb Japan's highest peak. In the process of doing so I went two days without sleep, got a massive sunburn, and developed the mother of all ear infections.

Yes, I know you probably don't want to hear about that. But it's why I haven't posted for the past few days. apologize to you all, but I still need to take another night off. But despite the pain, I'm not sure if that's a good idea. I'll run it by my main "idea checker."

So, what do you think of my plan to take another night off, Wild Dog?

Well, jeeze. I can't argue with that. See y'all tomorrow.

I'm Gone

No Friday Night Fights for me this week. And don't expect posting Saturday or Sunday, either. I'm heading off on the bullet train tomorrow morning to climb that most famous of mountains, Mount Fuji.

I think it'll be a lot of fun. But they don't get the Internet on Fuji-san.

See you in a few.

Thursday Night Thinking the Eleventh

Thursday Night Thinking returns, with something a bit... Unconventional:

Sometimes you have to think outside the box! How about you? What do you think?

Glad You're Not Here

Hub City smells funny, but at least nobody knows I'm here. Well, they know now, but they don't know my exact location.

Know that I feel like I could set up shop here. If any city I've been to needs a brutal vigilante, it's this one. But alas, I have to keep moving. Sinister forces are still on my tail.

More as it develops.

Who Are These Guys?

I should start off by saying that I rarely put much stock in reviews. I do occasionally read reviews of comic books, video games, and movies. But that doesn't mean I listen to their advice. And I definitely don't listen to the reviewers over at Newsarama. I mean, who are these guys and why are they reviewing books?

I was reading a few of the reviews by Newsarama's "Best Shots" review team. I didn't particularly care for what I heard from some of them. I took immediate umbrage with the review of Black Adam #1. The reviewer is quick to point at that the art is beautiful, the story is intriguing, and the writing is quite good. But the book still sucks.

You may be thinking: "Huh?" I know I was. The thing is, the reviewer mentions several times how he hates Countdown (calling it a "black hole of a series"). And since Black Adam is tangentially connected to Countdown, it's not worth reading. What ever happened to reviewing a book on its merits?

But the really awful review is the one for Green Lantern #22. It starts out like so:

I feel vindicated now that Kyle Rayner has switched sides and is currently the tentpole of the Sinestro Corps; I always knew he wasn’t worthy to be on Team Green and I pray for a square-off between him and Hal and for the former Mr. Graysides to knock his block off.

So am I supposed to take this guy seriously? Any credibility he may have had immediately goes out the window when he starts a review like that. It's completely unnecessary and I'd say quite unprofessional.

Now, there may be someone out there thinking: "Wow, that Diamondrock is a real hypocrite. He talks trash about characters he doesn't like all the time!" And that person would be right about my calling Wolverine a tool. But they wouldn't be right about my being a hypocrite.

Because you see, this is my blog. Here I (and my co-bloggers) express our opinions. That's what blogs are for. If that reviewer wants to talk about how much he hates Kyle Rayner, he should get himself a blog and talk about it to his heart's content. I'll be happy to never read it.

But in my mind a review column on a site reputedly focusing on news is not really the place for that. A review is meant to inform poeple about the merits of a book, its writing, and its artwork. It's meant to help others decide whether or not they should buy the book as well.

Professional reviewers of books (the non-comic kind) are expected to leave their personal biases at the door when they write their columns. If the comic industry ever wants to stop being seen as a gathering of unwashed nerds by the outside world, our "professional" reviewers should be held to the same standard.

So far we're not doing very well.

The Death of Gods

I may annoy some people with what I'm about to say, but I'm going to say it anyway: I think it's time for the New Gods to die. And to stay dead.

I know that some of the New Gods -- Mister Miracle and Big Barda specifically -- are quite popular. But let's be honest... The New Gods have never really fit in that well in the DCU. To me, their presence has always seemed a little off. They're a little too Kirby for the DCU.

Now don't get me wrong; some of the things that Kirby introduced to the DCU are great (Kamandi, OMAC, the Source Wall). And the New Gods are great, too. But they just don't feel to me like they belong in the DCU. The saga of the New Gods has always felt too big and too epic. Their being shoehorned into the DCU kind of brings that down. So it's time for them to die.

Killing the New Gods is certainly controversial. But I think that DC has made the right decision in doing so. And from what little I've read by Jim Starlin, they've also chosen the right man for the job. He'll give the death of gods the epic feel it warrants. And when the last New God falls... Well, the DCU will be changed forever.

Unless they just bring them all back...

The Media

I have been misrepresented! Words have been placed in my mouth. I have been quoted saying things that I did not say. And I am sorely begrieved.

I place the blame for this upon the "mainstream" media. Its constant, unrelenting conservative bent fills me with constant, unrelenting rage. It's not that I have anything against evil corporate media empires ruled by a single man on principle. I used to work with Lex Luthor, after all.

No, the problem comes when the ire of this odious apparatus is directed towards Doctor Polaris. For that, I will not stand. I could care less if Barack Obama is made to appear the fool. But to make me a target of misrepresentation betrays a woeful misunderstanding of the way the world works.

I will not allow myself to be made a fool of for the amusement of others. There are plenty of others who I'm sure would be happy to play that role. I am not one of them. If I am not to be taken seriously in this modern age, I will have to deliver a lesson in why that's a big mistake

I mean, I've got a PhD. Why shouldn't I teach?

Friday Night Fights!!

It's Friday night, and that can mean only one thing... Friday Night Fights! As Bahlactus demands:

Look for more on Major Bummer next week!

Thursday Night Thinking the Tenth

Some things change, but Thursday Night Thinking will always be the same!

And remember: superheroes aren't the only ones who think:

And... That's all I have to say about that.

## and Counting...

It's been a long day and I have very little of note to say. So I'm just going to talk about the much maligned (unfairly, I fell) series Countdown.

One of the obvious things about Countdown is the preponderance of story arcs and characters compared to most series -- and even compared to 52. Though there is no point to this beyond organizing my own thoughts and laying them out, I will attempt to lay out the various story threads within Countdown. I have no idea how they connect or which ones are the most important. These are listed in no particular order.

1. Karate Kid and Una seek out... Something
   
2. Donna Troy, Jason Todd, and Bob the Monitor search for Ray Palmer
3. Monarch and Forerunner scheme
4. Jimmy Olsen and his amazing powers
   
5. Mary Marvel tries to find her way
   
6. The Monitors scheme more
   
7. Holly Robinson and the Amazons
8. Pied Piper and the Trickster run
   
9. Darkseid schemes the most
10. The Death of the New Gods
    

So there we have the ten storylines that I can see within Countdown. Again, I'm not sure which ones are the most important or connective. But those are the ones I see as important.

Anything I've missed?

I Am Not Here

Attention readers:

Know that I am on the run from forces too sinister to name. Even as we speak I am moving, posting this through the aid of an outdated laptop that I may or may not have purchased in Manchester, Alabama.

I will try my best to alert you -- my readers and only true friends -- as to the nature of this terrifying threat when it more fully reveals itself. I may need your help.

"You-know-who" still won't return my calls...

A Triumphant Return

I return -- rested, refreshed, and ready for revenge. Much has transpired in my brief absence, but the event of ultimate importance was my triumphant return.

Recently my name and likeness have been appearing in DC's comics at an accelerated pace. You already know that my name was mentioned in Justice League of America (by marked man Brad Meltzer). But it was just last week that the real Doctor Polaris -- that is, me -- appeared in The All-New Atom (by the beautiful and talented Gail Simone).

Such signs and portents cannot be dismissed. It is known that DC has a plan in motion for their "multi-verse." It is now apparent that that plan involves my glorious and triumphant return.

As it stands, I would be exceedingly pleased to take a role in Ms. Simone's delightful All-New Atom. I do believe that I would fit in well there among the misfits, maniacs, and evil geniuses. Perhaps I could take on a tenured position at Ivy University? If they hired Giganta, they can certainly hire me...

Friday Night Fights!

As Bahlactus demands:

You don't wanna mess with the real Aquaman. You really don't.

Thursday Night Thinking the Ninth

Heroes die... Legends live forever... And thinking never ends! That's right friends, Thursday Night Thinking returns! This week, a non-superheroic thinker:

Boy, that Kathy Sutton sure can think!

I Am Easily Pleased

The above statement is a statement of fact. I am ridiculously easy to please. Give me a comic book that doesn't say "Marvel" on the front and I'll probably like it. Hell, chances are I'll love it.

Case in point: Judd Winick. I know that a lot of people don't like Judd Winick's work. A lot of people actively despise what he does. That's cool and all. I respect that. But me, I've pretty much enjoyed everything he's done. There hasn't been a lot that's bothered me.

Take the last issue of the Outsiders/Checkmate crossover. I was talking with Kalinara and she was positively livid about certain scenes in that book. And in retrospect, I believe that she was right to feel that way.

But at the time it didn't register with me. I enjoyed the issue, thought it was a good romp, and that was that. So either I'm dense, thick, insensitive, or simply very easy to please.

I sure hope it's the latter...