Crazy Countdown

Okay, so the preview for Countdown #4 just about made my head explode.

First, I've never seen... Just... Well hell, look at that cover. If I didn't know better I'd say that Mary's right breast is bigger than her left one. Is this some sort of allegory on the superiority of good over evil?

Also: Darkseid on a couch. Apparently the DCU's supreme embodiment of evil likes a good sit down every once in a while. Do you think he was watching TV before Mary got home? Maybe rooting around in the fridge for leftovers?

Mary: How dare you eat the last slice of cheesecake!

Darkseid: Darkseid dares all.

00

Those who know me well know that there are two things that fire me up above all else. The first, of course is what I talk about here most days: superhero comics. There are few things that get me as excited as superheroics. But there is one thing that reaches that level in my estimations: Gundam.

My two loves share a lot in common. In the world of superhero comics, we have people with astonishing abilities that often put them leagues above normal men and women. And so they put on brightly colored costumes and do battle for the things they believe in -- whether those things are truth, power, justice, money, or the American Way.

In the various worlds of Gundam (for you see, there is a multiverse of Gundam worlds) we have people with astonishing abilities that often put them leagues above normal men and women. And so they pilot brightly colored robots and do battle for the things they believe in -- whether those are truth, power, justice, money, or the Zeonic Way.

But, like superhero comics, the heart and soul of Gundam is not might and strength of arms. It is about the person behind the mask (and there's always a masked man in Gundam). It's about the human being who pilots that mobile suit. It's about his or her dreams and fantasies; it's about his or her hopes and fears.

In that, Gundam embodies the same things that I love in superheroes. For me, it's about justice and protecting the innocent. One of the hearts of Gundam has always been the strong fighting on behalf of the weak and the defenseless. When the forces of oppression and evil rise up and all hope is lost the Gundam will appear. Not so different from Superman...

I speak of Gundam this night because the most recent Gundam series -- Gundam 00 -- just reached its twenty-fifth and final episode. As with most Gundam series, there were unanswered questions -- a good thing, considering the second season begins in October.

But before we reached that end I got to see Gundam pilots -- who are the hearts and souls of their Gundams both literally and figuratively -- struggle, fight, and die for causes higher than themselves. They fought for truth, justice, and freedom. And that, my friends, is what it's all about.

I Love Guy Gardner

It had to happen sometime. When you spend as much time talking to certain people as I do you start to get... Influenced.

I never really had a favorite Green Lantern. I guess I just sort of latched on to Kyle out of convenience. I mean, he was in my favorite Justice League and he wasn't Hal Jordan. But bit by bit I started to realize that Guy Gardner was more than simply an "asshole."

But still, I was hesitant to call him my "favorite Green Lantern." There were still unresolved issues to deal with. Things had yet to come full circle.

Enter: Blue Beetle #25.

All it took was one page to push me squarely into the Guy Gardner fan camp. All it took was two sentences:

"That's right baby girl. I'm the crazy one."

And bam. That's it. I'm done. Hal Jordan only wishes he could be that cool.

Thursday Night Thinking XLI

Thursday Night Thinking explodes onto the scene! Tonight: Superman goes oil drillin'!

A pinky-ring? Really?

I Did It

Did you know that I was mentioned in Countdown a few weeks back?

It's true. They've been doing those "villain profiles" and one of them happened to be Bane. Not only was I mentioned but I was also seen! Take a look:

Yes! That is me, beating up Bane. Now, Bane makes a big deal about how he "broke the Bat." And yes, he did. He beat You-Know-Who, something that very few people have ever managed to do. I mean, I couldn't do it.

But don't forget, my friends. Bane may have broken the Bat... But I broke Bane.

Spoilers

Okay, so is there anyone out there who was actually surprised by the revelation in last week's Robin? It seems to me that they've been telegraphing just this sort of reveal for months.

Now, I would've been surprised if it had been Cassandra Cain's evil twin under that hood, or if Stephanie had been a zombie or something. That would've been a shocking twist. But Stephanie's return has been in the cards for quite a while in my eyes.

Still, I am happy about it and everything. I never read much Robin in the old days, but Steph was a semi-recurring character in Batgirl. They had a great relationship, and Stephanie was the only character out there who actually seemed like she was friends with Cass. Steph even offered to teach her to read at one point. Batman never offered that.

I just hope that Spoiler gets used appropriately from hereon out. I don't want it to be a case of "hey, she's alive -- you can all stop complaining now." I can see them doing that. I wouldn't be terribly surprised if she disappeared off to limbo again now that she's definitively not dead.

I hope that doesn't happen, and I hope she and Batgirl start hanging out again. It would raise my happiness quotient by a huge degree. And it would be a good excuse for Cassandra to start acting like herself again...

We Need Lawyers

My time spent playing Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney has made me realize that we need many, many more lawyer comics.

Manhunter returning is a good start. But it's not enough. We need more characters like the Red Bee, a district attorney who fought crime with trained bees while wearing diaphanous sleeves. But more than anything we need revival of DC's old Mr. District Attorney comic.

I believe that Mr. District Attorney was based on an old radio show. But the main point still stands: Mr. District Attorney is an awesome name for a comic book. The title character wouldn't have any powers... Or another real name. He would simply be an amazing attorney somewhere in the DC Universe who uses the astonishing power of the Law to destroy all evil in his jurisdiction.

Can you imagine the heady drama as Mr. District Attorney goes head to head with Lex Luthor's Lawyers? It would be far more exciting than even the best episode of Law & Order. Because sometimes the defense attorneys would have sinister super-powers.

Courtroom drama is one of those things that Americans seem to find intrinsically exciting. But it is a genre not often enough mined in the world of comics -- and specifically super-hero comics. In comics, we need more lawyers.

He is Alive

As most of you know, I am a religious person. And though the Order of Saint Dumas does recognize a lot of questionable theology, at its core it's just extra wacky Catholicism.

Which means that today I am celebrating Easter. Easter is one of those holidays that all too often slips through the cracks of mainstream consciousness. And when it does get play, it's usually about chocolate bunnies and those tasty little marshmallow chicks.

But the truth is that Easter is by far the most important festival in my religion. Christmas, of course, is flashier. But Easter is about the key theological concept that Christianity is hinged upon: the Resurrection.

Now you might think that in a world where everyone from Superman to Green Arrow has come back from the dead Easter would have less significance. But I don't believe that. Superman will die. So will all the rest of us. But in my religion, Jesus Christ was dead, and then alive. And He's still alive. And He will be forever.

Even Saint Dumas couldn't pull that trick off.

For those of you of other religions -- or those who are not religious at all -- I apologize for discussing such an issue. But even with the brainwashing and the genetic engineering and the monkey juice, my faith is a very important part of who I am.

So to all of you -- whether you believe or not -- Happy Easter.

Objection!

Some days there are momentous events that outstrip even comics.

Today is one such day.

Today I got this:

Yes, that is Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney... The fourth game in the epic Phoenix Wright Series!

You may or may not know that I play a lot of videogames... I don't tend to talk about that here, as this isn't really the place for such discussion.

But sometimes, things are too momentous. Sometimes events overpower my own sense of discretion. This is one such event.

Say what you will about my enthusiasm -- you can't deny that it is palpably real. I am giddy as a schoolboy that I will have hours of frenetic courtroom action to keep me sane on those long, tedious bus rides to and from work.

Let the jurisprudence begin.

I Laugh

It has been long since I last posted. However, there is in explanation: since reading this I have been inundated with paroxysms of hysterical laughter.

Consider: a team of super-heroes led by my old enemy Hal "I Done Hit My Head" Jordan. The possibilities for inept bumbling are immense. We are talking here about a man who cannot take a shower without knocking himself silly.

And the proactive "going after the villains" thing has been done. Many times. If Batman can't pull it off then well... I don't think Hal Jordan has much of a chance. I know that I am well-prepared for superheroic incursions on the various properties that I have purchased over the years with my ill-gotten gains. Magnetism repels all assaults!

However, the addition of a giant gorilla to the team may at least add some needed stability. Someone has to help Jordan to his feet after he smacks his skull into Green Arrow's after slipping on a yellow banana peel. Some things are inevitabilities.

Thursday Night Thinking XL

This weekend we'll get back on track... For now, you'll just have to settle for Thursday Night Thinking!

Tonight: one of the strangest covers containing thinking I have ever seen. And I've seen some crazy thinking. Behold!

What do you think of that?

Bad Mojo

It's been a bad week for blogging. A combination of the insidious real world and the need for sleep have prevented me from doing much of anything. Watch this space.

Thursday Night Thinking XXXIX

Secrets! Truths! All can be found in the depths of Thursday Night Thinking! Tonight: a stray thought threatens the secret identity of the Dark Knight Detective!

That Commissioner Gordon is quite the thinker. I know I would have never thought of that...

A Simple Solution

I find myself ever so mildly amused by Marvel's upcoming "Secret Invasion." As is often the case with the fool who inhabit Earth-616, there has been much wailing and gnashing of teeth.

"Oh!" they cry. "How ever will I know whether or not this person is a Skrull?" It seems to me that the answer is obvious: kill them all.

It is my understanding that the only way to tell whether or not someone is a Skrull is to kill them. Very well. Then please, do proceed to kill everyone you see. Not only will this solve the problem of the "Secret Invasion," but it will also solve the greater problem of the Marvel Universe: the fact that the Marvel Universe is full of whining fools.

Be assured, my loyal readers: Earth-616 would be a better place if it were uninhabited. And once it's empty we can solve one of our problems by sending all the Rannies there. Win win, people.

Secret Origins

As you well know, Geoff Johns is retelling Hal Jordan's origin. Again. This isn't the first time that Hal's origin has been retold. Or the second. Or even the third. But this version is probably going to be a little different from the previous version.

Specifically, it'll be full of retcons! We all know how much Geoff Johns loves retroactive continuity. So the heart of this "Secret Origin" is probably going to be a lot of things that we actually don't know about Hal -- because they never happened before.

There will undoubtedly be a tightening up of the friendship between Sinestro and Hal, as Johns has really been playing that up. For me, that friendship just reiterates what an idiot Hal Jordan really is. I mean, jeeze... How bad of an idea is it to become friends with a guy named "Sinestro"? I don't know anybody named "Evilor" or " Doomerina." But if I did, I wouldn't make an effort to become friends with them...

Move Along

I'm going to be honest with you all. I couldn't think of anything to post for tonight. I couldn't come up with a single damn thing to talk about. And I'm damn tired. So in lieu of content here's a pretty picture from the good old days:

Man, I love that costume.

This Week in Azrael

The Order of St. Dumas was mentioned in this past week's Detective Comics. It was a brief mention only, and You-Know-Who tried to laugh it off by making some references to some "Order of the Pure."

Let me tell you, there's nothing pure about the Order of St. Dumas. And if you don't believe me check out what Scott has to say about them over at Polite Dissent. According to Scott, not only is the method for creating Azraels twisted and evil, it's also completely scientifically unfeasible. And Scott would know, because he's a doctor.

So yeah, my secret origin is that I was grown in a glass jar full of monkey juice. And people wonder why I'm crazy.

In lighter news, the good Scipio has provided me with an image of my latest HeroClix figure. It's a convention exclusive figure, and as Scipio says, that's a high honor. It's a beautiful sculpt, but honestly... What in the name of St. Dumas was I thinking with that costume?

Thursday Night Thinking XXXVIII

Well, I'm back from my conference. Yokohama is quite nice... Sort of like Tokyo but without all the "THIS IS TOKYO." If you've ever been to Tokyo, you know what I mean.

And now that I'm back, let's jump right back into things. Why look at the time: It's Thursday. Time for Thursday Night Thinking!

And yes, that woman is Jimmy Olsen.

Time Out

Well, friends. Early tomorrow morning I'm heading off to Tokyo for a conference. So I won't be back and around until. That means the next post you get will contain some some serious thinking. Try to restrain your enthusiasm.

See you in a few.